In a dramatic and unexpected move, President George W. Bush this morning signed Executive Order #69420, which immediately removes cannabis sativa from the DEA’s list of Controlled Substances. As of this moment, adult marijuana prohibition is over and all possession, use, and cultivation of marijuana is completely legal under federal law.
President Bush cited the fact that he himself once used marijuana, as did former President Bill Clinton, as well as Mr. Bush’s prior opponents, Vice President Al Gore and Senator John Kerry. Mr. Bush said the move to legalize marijuana is part of an overall harm reduction measure with respect to drugs that he wishes to leave as his legacy. The president recognizes that America will never truly be “drug free”, so instead, he has signed this Executive Order in order for the DEA to concentrate on controlling the more harmful, “harder” drugs. Said Mr. Bush, “One major responsibility is to encourage people to use less drugs.”
While this move makes marijuana legal at the federal level, cannabis enthusiasts are reminded that this Executive Order does not overturn the laws in the fifty states that regulate marijuana, except for those states whose statutes take their drug definitions directly from the federal schedule. Attorneys throughout the country are scrambling to determine exactly what the status of marijuana will now become in their respective states.
The candidates for president reacted to the new Executive Order re-legalizing marijuana. Senator Barack Obama, who has admitted to smoking marijuana in his past, addressed some leaders in the African-American community who have condemned the move as the Bush administration abandoning poor minority communities to the scourge of drugs. Mr. Obama said, “To condemn it without understanding its roots only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.”
Senator Hillary Clinton, whose husband famously said, “I did not inhale” when asked about his marijuana use, praised the Executive Order, but cautioned that it won’t mean a whole lot if the states do not follow suit and repeal their statutes against marijuana possession, since most marijuana arrests occur at the state level. “I personally do not think it made any difference,” said the former First Lady, “you know, it’s clear, this is not going to count for anything.”
Senator John McCain was asked about the president’s order to re-legalize marijuana and whether he thought this should lead Congress to consider the possibility of reducing the penalties on other illegal substances. Mr. McCain said, “I believe that this is a possibility that is maybe closer to reality than we are discussing tonight.”
Then “Radical” Russ woke up and realized that today is April Fools Day and he was only dreaming the news that he wishes he could someday read on the air…
if you research what exactly an executive order is you can see that it cannot make law as shown in supreme court case “Youngstown Sheet & Tube Co. v. Sawyer because it attempted to make law, rather than clarify or act to further a law put forth by the Congress or the Constitution.”
and the joke goes on and on…funny….real funny!
:(
why would you get our hopes up like that? you make me sad
Soooo not funny here i was getting all excited cause i thought i could go smoke a joint on the street.
and i was just thinking when did bush grow some brains and . :)
you hurt me man:)
um…we had a happy dance and splance, called a few people, and then scrolled down.
Mr. “Radical”
You are forgiven, but, when this happens for real, you have to bring the balloons!
Party!!
Well, it’s about time somebody left some comments on the Stash Blog!
Yes, it’s an April Fools Joke. (I thought the “Radical Russ then wakes up…” line at the end was a dead giveaway, but apparently not.) There was one on the NORML Blog as well.
Midnight Toker, settle down, man. Tokers are supposed to be peaceful people, remember? Certainly you don’t mean to physically threaten me with death – that would be illegal.
Fuck you that shit isn’t fucking funny. I would beat your ass to death if you where here right now. Some things you just don’t joke about man. What the fuck is wrong with you did somebody drop you on your head as a child?
Is this real? Or just an April Fools joke?
I’m confused. It seems too good to be true.
Now, who’s gonna ‘splain to my nieghbor why I was nekked, running around my back yard, waving a 6 foot plant around and yelling like a banshee!
cruelty i say
hahahahahahahaha not funny!! I would love to see this on all the news stations and television news shows. Maybe one day or maybe in a few years we might have someone with the balls to do something like this to some degree. I would think they could have like different scientists and clinical professors or something to go through all the prisons and diagnose people and get all these punk kids caught with a dime bag out of the prisons where convicted killers and rapists and pedaphiles are locked up at. Keep it real Russ LEGALIZE IT!!