OK, so say you’re a podcaster, you write three blogs, and your entire existence depends on information technology.  And you’re a stoner.  What’s the most predictable thing that you’d forget to bring on a road trip from Potland, Oregon, to Denver, Colorado?

If you said “laptop computer”, sorry, that’s incorrect.  I may be a stoner, but I’m not a complete idiot.

If you said “power cord for that laptop computer”, you’re a winner!

I had packed the laptop in the thin laptop case when I had the bright idea of using my mondo-huge laptop case to also carry along my radio show studio gear.  It’s freakin’ amazing we have the technology to put on a studio-quality radio show on the road over a telephone line up to a satellite across the continent.  Equally amazing is me typing this blog post on I-84 between Boise and Mountain Home, Idaho, connecting with a cellular modem.  Absolutely astonishing that I can fit the whole thing in a carry-on bag.  You younger folks have it good; I recall connecting to a bulletin board system at 2400 baud!  (cue cranky old man music…)

Anyway, I transfered everything over to the mondo-huge case… except the power cord.  Just bought a replacement cable for ninety bucks!  Egads!

I’m dialing into the home studio system (free plug alert: GoToMyPC.com rocks!) to fetch some Hempfest audio, so stay tuned!

Orlando Sentinel - Lake Mary man accused of trying to bribe officer by Orlando Sentinel Criminal Justice Editor John Cutter
Lake Mary police stopped a motorcycle over the weekend because the driver was using the turn lane to pass other vehicles. After finding marijuana and a set of scales, the officer placed Jose Heriberto Torres under arrest. According to police reports, Torres, 25, of Lake Mary, offered the officer $500 if he would just write him a ticket instead of taking him to jail.

Torres faces charges of bribery, possessing marijuana and narcotic equipment and operating a motorcycle without a license. He was released form the Seminole County Jail on a $2,150 bond.

NORML Legal Committee attorney Jeffrey Steinborn says it best: if you’re going to break the law, try to make it only one law at a time.  If you are riding around with marijuana and scales, you ought to be the most law-abiding, safe driver on the road.  Cruise control is your friend and your turn signal is your wingman.  And for Pete’s sake, you don’t try to bribe an officer, especially in Florida where mere possession of over 20 grams is a felony!  You have a right to remain silent and call an attorney… use them!

Marijuana Garden Found With Help of Researcher’s Turtle - washingtonpost.com
A Montgomery County man was arrested after a researcher tracking a radio-equipped turtle in Rock Creek Park found the animal standing in a garden of marijuana plants in a remote area of the park, police said today.

The researcher notified authorities after finding the [ten] plants — about a pound and a half of marijuana worth roughly $6,500 when sold in smaller amounts on the street, police said. Lachance said investigators covertly watched the marijuana garden until a man showed up to tend to the plants.

Isiah Johnson, 19, of Chevy Chase, was arrested Wednesday and charged with possessing marijuana with intent to distribute, Lachance said.

I wonder how long those cops were sitting there, watching a marijuana garden.  It’s a good thing that Washington DC is a nice, safe place, free enough from violent crime, muggings, and vandalism that investigators - plural - can sit in the park, getting paid, to wait for a gardener to show up.

The Greeneville Sun - News Story - Officer Charges Man With Smoking Marijuana
A Greene County man who was allegedly seen by a police officer smoking marijuana while sitting on the porch of a Greeneville residence late Thursday was charged with multiple offenses.

Arrest warrants filed by GPD Sgt. Steve Spano said he was on foot patrol at the corner of Sunburst Alley and Leonard Street when he observed a man later identified as Roger Dale Key, 51, of Snake Hollow Road, sitting on the front porch of a residence there smoking marijuana.

Officers said the GPD had been asked to perform “extra patrol” in the area and that Sgt. Spano was performing that function when he chanced to see Key smoking marijuana.

After arresting Key for possession of marijuana, Sgt. Spano received permission to search Key’s car and, according to arrest warrants, found inside it a bag containing marijuana, a second bag containing mushrooms that are classified as a Schedule I illegal drug and a quantity of drug paraphernalia items, including two pipes and a “grinder.”

How many times do we have to tell you people?  “No, officer, I do not consent to any searches!”  Why in the world would there be any reason for police to search your car when they busted you smoking a joint outside on your front porch?  The fact that Sgt. Spano received permission to search the car shows he had no probable cause to search without permission!

It’s bad enough that we’ve got Tennessee police patrolling the neighborhoods to protect us all from the menace of middle-aged men smoking a joint at home, but we don’t have to make their jobs easier by smoking on the front porch in plain public view instead of maybe the back porch, and we don’t have to give them bigger arrests with more charges by giving them permission to search something we know has Schedule I drugs in it!

YouTube - Betting with Weed

A Fresno man is in custody today after casino security videotaped him placing a large amount of marijuana on a blackjack table, apparently as his bet.  Video shows the man then reclaiming the bag of weed, but then taking just a few buds and placing those out as his bet.  Even as casino security scooped up the contraband, the man seems unfazed, because he has ordered a card on the internet that he believes gives him the right to bet weed.

Thanks to Omar Figueroa for the tip.

Tampabays10.com | Tampa, St. Petersburg, Clearwater | Man caught smoking pot in ice cream truck
Spring Hill - A Hernando County man was taken into custody for smoking pot inside an ice cream truck, police said.

Gregory Westberry of Spring was arrested Thursday with marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

The 34-year-old’s arrest report said his speech was slurred and his pupils were dilated when deputies found him.

Westberry later admitted to smoking pot and drinking several beers in the truck.

Inside deputies found less than a gram of marijuana in a clear plastic bag and a smoking pipe in his pockets.

If you are trying to smoke marijuana in secret, it helps if you don’t follow the basic plot points of Cheech & Chong’s Nice Dreams.  On the other hand, when the guy had less than a gram of weed, but displays slurred speech and admits to drinking several beers, how come the headline isn’t “Drunk man found smoking pot in ice cream truck?”

A textbook case of DWI - Dancing While Intoxicated!

Bad dancing draws suspicion, pot charges | greenbaypressgazette.com | Green Bay Press-Gazette
An 18-year-old Plymouth man whose bad dancing at a city festival attracted the attention of authorities was charged Monday with two drug-related misdemeanors, according to a criminal complaint.

The man could face up to seven months in jail if convicted of marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia.

According to the complaint:

A security officer at Hispanic Fest on Saturday night pointed out the man to patrolling Sheboygan police officers after observing strange dancing that led him to believe the man was drunk or high.

The man began to back away as officers approached him on the dance floor, and twice reached for his right pocket. Police — who noted the man smelled strongly of marijuana — searched him and found 2.6 grams of marijuana as well as a glass pipe and a marijuana cigar.

OK, first I gotta know: how badly do you have to be dancing to stand out at the Hispanic Fest in Sheboygan, Wisconsin?  Hey, what’s that vato loco doing?  Ese, that’s either the worst “cabbage patch” I’ve ever seen or the dude’s having a seizure!

But seriously, we’re talking about possibly locking up an 18-year-old for seven months for bad dancing.  Oh, and a couple grams of weed.  In a sane society, cops would have confiscated the weed and pipe, written the guy tickets for public intoxication and underage possession, and warned him to leave the premises or be arrested for trespassing.

That’s what we would have done for the drunk dancer, right?

Police: Man mooned crowd only minutes after being released on marijuana charge - Fosters
PORTSMOUTH — Minutes after he was released on bail for marijuana possession, Adelbert Harvey was arrested again in Market Square Tuesday afternoon for allegedly mooning people, say police.

As a result, Harvey, 35, with no permanent address, faces three Class A misdemeanor charges of possession of drugs, breach of bail conditions and indecent exposure-lewdness.

According to [police they] received reports from witnesses nearly 10 minutes after Harvey was released about him exposing his buttocks in the middle of downtown.

[Prosecutors] argued that Harvey should be held on cash bail because of the fact that he violated terms of his release nearly 10 minutes after being arrested for the marijuana charge.

Judge Sawako Gardner asked Harvey if the court could trust him to stay on good behavior after which he responded with, “if I don’t drink, I guess.”

While admitting to having a drinking problem, Harvey said he was still intoxicated when released on the first charge and called his latest arrest a “wake-up call.”

Don’t you just hate it when you get a story about a messed-up alcoholic doing something really stupid, but since marijuana is illegal people will equate breaking the law on marijuana with the stupid things that were caused by alcohol.

The Tribune Democrat, Johnstown, PA - Police: Man returned burgers, marijuana to Dairy Queen
IRWIN — A North Huntingdon man was charged by Greensburg state police with possession of marijuana after Dairy Queen employees found the substance in his returned take-out bag.

Calvin Masten, 18, ordered several hamburgers through the Dairy Queen drive-through in Irwin Borough, Westmoreland County, on June 23. After receiving the burgers, he allegedly placed a baggie of marijuana inside the take-out bag.

Police said Masten eventually realized his order was not correct, and, forgetting that he placed the marijuana in the bag, went inside the restaurant and returned his order to get the correctly prepared hamburgers.

When counter personnel saw the bag of marijuana, they contacted police.

Who in the hell is working the counter at Dairy Queen?  It must have been two or more of them seeing the marijuana at the same time, because if that’s me at the counter, it’s “Sorry about your meal, sir, here’s a replacement, have a nice day!” and I’m pocketing a free eighth!

I guess this means we won’t see any Dairy Queen Bud Blizzards anytime soon…