(Los Angeles Times) In the end, despite a sophisticated filtration system, it was the smell that smoked out the marijuana-growing operation located just 25 feet from the Los Angeles Police Department’s Topanga station in Canoga Park.

LAPD officials said officers began noticing the smell of pot Tuesday morning, investigated, got warrants and closed down the indoor farm within eight hours.

Three men were taken into custody earlier Wednesday after officers served a search warrant on the warehouse in the 8400 block of Canoga Avenue.

Growers had built three rooms in the building — one for seedlings, another for medium-sized plants and one where harvesting was apparently conducted, police said. The lights were controlled so they wouldn’t overheat, watering systems were automated and oxygen levels were supplemented by carbon dioxide tanks, according to police.

Oh, for the life of me, I cannot even begin to imagine the cognitive processes and critical thinking that went into this particular choice of real estate for this particular commercial venture.  Wait a minute, yes I can…

BRAD: Dude, check it out, I found an awesome place to grow pot!

JEFF: Oh, gnarly!

BRAD: It’s not in the best location, though.

JEFF: I see the globe right there.

BRAD: Well, yeah, it’s in California.  No, dude, I mean, like, it’s right next to the cop shop.  You know, the po-po!  The five-oh!

JEFF: I know that dude.

BRAD: Yeah, so I’m kinda worried that they’ll figure it out and bust us.

JEFF: Those guys are f…

BRAD: You’re right, man.  Besides, check it out, they’ll never figure it out.  I got these awesome air filters and we’ll seal up the whole inside with caulk!

JEFF: Hey, bud, what’s your problem?

BRAD: No, caulk, you know, like you use to seal up window cracks and stuff!

JEFF: Totally.

BRAD: So whaddaya say, are you in, brah?  Look at all this amazing weed, huh?  We’re gonna make a lotta money, dude, and we’re doing it all just 25 feet away from the LAPD!  Are you in?

JEFF: I am today.

(we hear sirens, police bursting in…)

OFFICER HAND: Am I hallucinating here? Just what in the hell do you think you are doing?  What are you people, on dope?

JEFF: You dick!

BRAD:  Aw, this really sucks.  How did you find us?  Hey, you don’t have to hit us!  Ow! Ow!

JEFF: That was my skull! I’m so wasted!

(Thanks to the site MovieWavs.com for what shall be a very entertaining podcast segment!)

(Salem Statesman Journal) A 21-year-old Salem man reportedly called 9-1-1 that his marijuana was missing, but when deputies arrived, he was booked on drunk driving charges instead, officials said.

It began early Tuesday at 12:52 as a report of a vehicle break-in at the Freeloader Tavern at 501 Lancaster Drive SE, sheriff’s spokeswoman Lt. Sheila Lorance said.

A man told dispatchers that while he was inside the bar, someone broke into his truck, stole $400 cash, a jacket and about 3/4 of an ounce of marijuana, valued at about $180.

Deputy Ryan Clarke went to the scene, but when he was arrived, was unable to find the driver.

About an hour later, the driver called 9-1-1, angry that deputies had not arrived, and was driving.

Lorance said the dispatcher had difficulty understanding the caller because the driver was stopping several times to vomit.

Deputies eventually found the driver at 49th Avenue and Fontana Court SE where the man had parked. The driver, who was found about 100 feet from his truck, told deputies he was looking for the people who stole his “weed.”

Clarke determined that the driver was drunk.

Calvin Hoover, 21, of Salem, was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of intoxicants.

I’m not so certain that this should be classified as a Stupid Stoner Story since he exhibited this stupid behavior while drunk.  In fact, if you’re so drunk that you’re puking while driving, we don’t really want your kind.  But if this helps stop the next non-medical marijuana user from calling police to report stolen weed, then it was worth posting.

And for the record, isn’t it nice to once again be reminded of the parking lots at taverns that are so well guarded and patrolled that there can be a vehicle break-in that goes unnoticed and a puking drunk that’s allowed to just drive away?

LEBANON, Pa. (AP) — Police in central Pennsylvania say they’ve nabbed a real pothead. They said an officer spotted 29-year-old Cesar Lopez inside a convenience store with a bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead. Investigators said Lopez was seen peering inside his baseball cap early Saturday morning in Lebanon, about 75 miles northwest of Philadelphia. When Lopez looked up, the officer noticed a small plastic bag appearing to contain marijuana stuck to his forehead.

Police said the officer peeled the bag off Lopez’s forehead and placed him under arrest. He has been charged with drug possession. Police do not know whether Lopez has an attorney.

Authorities say the sweatband of a baseball cap is a frequent hiding place for drugs.

I’ve always said that the best place to store your doobage, assuming it’s a small amount, is in your underwear.  If you get to the point where police are having you remove your underwear, you’ve got bigger problems than a baggie of weed.  Just don’t tell anyone you’re sharing a joint with where it came from.

(KETV) SAUNDERS COUNTY, Neb. — Police officers in Ashland, Neb., seized 150 pounds of marijuana during a traffic stop Wednesday night on Highway 6.

The seizure was the largest in Saunders County history, said Ashland police.

He said the incident started when police stopped [a] conversion van driving erratically. When the officer approached the van and saw several bags of marijuana in plain view, he called for assistance, police said.

[Ashland Police Chief Mark] Powell said multiple agencies responded to that call. The drugs were in duffel bags found throughout the vehicle, police said.

Three men in the van were Christopher Ryan, Irvin Dana Beal and James Statzer.

All three are being held in Saunders County Jail and are suspected of drug possession with intent to deliver, officers said. They all face charges of possession with intent to deliver.

Beal is a political activist who has advocated for marijuana legalization in the U.S.

Authorities said Ryan and Statzer are being held on $100,000 bond each. Beal is being held on $500,000 bond.

Yes, it is the word of a police officer, but if indeed there were bags of marijuana “in plain view”, then add this story to our pile of Stupid Stoner Stories.

Few stories I’ve written have generated as much firestorm as this one.  Check out the coverage on CelebStoner, where I’m being called “an asshole” (three times), “Smellville”, “a fool”, and being threatened with an assault-by-pie.

I even received a phone call from a New York activist who I met at the NORML CON last week.  He was at least civil and explained to me that Beal has been providing very low-cost marijuana (”$3-$7 per gram”… that’s still $85 to $200 per ounce) for medical patients on the East Coast.  So I apologize for any insinuation that Beal was making a luxury living as a weed dealer charging prohibition profits to average pot consumers.

What I’m upset about isn’t necessarily Beal in particular, but the general issue of a “record bust” of a prominent activist returning from NORML CON.  Every day I beat back prohibitionists who say that medical marijuana, especially in California, is being abused by criminals that are hiding behind the lax statutes to cover their interstate trafficking.  The average reader doesn’t know Beal has a history of altruism and support of desperately sick people; they just see “150lbs of marijuana” being trafficked by one of our own coming back from an activist conference in California.  They see a “legalizer” and assume he’s getting rich by drug dealing and it taints the message we’re all trying to deliver.

Whatever you think about the bust and my opinion of it, let’s talk about it this Saturday on NORML SHOW LIVE.

NEW YORK, Sept. 19 (UPI) — New York police allegedly found 50 pounds of marijuana in the home of a 41-year-old man who walked into a police station with a bag of pot, sources say.

Unidentified sources said Benito Barrios walked into a New York police station with a 25-pound bag of marijuana this week and allegedly claimed he found it inside a dresser at the furniture store where he works, the New York Post reported Saturday.

The sources said suspicious police soon asked to search Barrios’ home and, after receiving permission to do so, allegedly found 50 more pounds of marijuana in his back yard.

Sources offered no clues as to Barrios’ motive for turning over the initial 25-pound bag of pot Thursday.

I’ll offer a clue – rank stupidity.  You know I don’t think anyone should have to spend a minute in a police station over marijuana, but if you’re going to walk into a police station with a virtual sign reading, “Hi, I’m a felon, imprison me!” and then give police permission to search your home to build the case to imprison you for fifteen years, perhaps it’s best we remove you from society before you do something harmfully stupid to yourself or others.

(Daily Record) LINCOLN PARK — A Newark man who allegedly placed a plastic container holding marijuana into a bin intended for metal objects at the Municipal Court on Wednesday night was arrested on drug possession charges, police said.

Jerome M. Polite, 19, was accompanying a friend to court, and put the container into one of the bins while going through the metal detector at 6 p.m., police said.

When Officer Greg Bosland, who was working courtroom security, inspected the container, he discovered the bag of marijuana. Polite, who then allegedly attempted to grab the item from Bosland, was arrested, charged with possession of marijuana and brought back to the court for his first hearing, police said.

Police also discovered two outstanding warrants for Polite’s arrest totaling $679. He was unable to post bail and turned over to the Irvington Police Department.

So, let’s see, you put your plastic container full of weed on the tray because you were about to go through a metal detector.  Is that stupider than Damon Stoudamire’s famous attempt to get weed wrapped in tinfoil through a metal detector?

Yes, it is, because Stoudamire was traveling through an airport, but you were tagging along with a friend to go to court!  Never did you think, hmm, state-and-federally-illegal contraband plus armed officers of the law equals free room and board at the Graybar Hotel?

How many times do I have to tell tokers to not take their weed to court or the police station or the jail?  Apparently once was not enough, twice was not enough, three times was not enough…

(MyFoxDC) FREDERICK, Md. – Authorities in Frederick County, Maryland say a 52-year-old man was arrested after he allegedly tried to pay for gas with marijuana instead of cash.

Frederick County Sheriff’s deputies say it happened at the Classic Fuels Store on Old National Pike in New Market, Maryland on Sunday afternoon around 3 p.m. They say 52-year-old James T. Hart of Frederick offered the store clerk marijuana in lieu of cash to pay for his gas.

The store employee refused, and immediately called deputies to investigate. When they arrived, authorities found what they believed to be cocaine, marijuana, and Oxycodone in his possession.

You don’t trade marijuana for gasoline for your own car!  You trade it for a ride when you’re hitchhiking.  “Ass, Cash, Gas, or Grass – Nobody Rides for Free.”

For those of you who donated so graciously to NORML SHOW LIVE, please use this PayPal button to send in your pledges. I finished 25 wings, but you’re only on the hook for 20 (you can pay for all 25 if you like, though!) If you prefer a check in the mail, send it to Russ Belville %NORML SHOW LIVE, 4110 SE Hawthorne Blvd #161, Portland, OR 97214 Enjoy the videos! — “R”R

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I am so excited about today’s Hot Wings Contest.  I am truly humbled by all you who have pledged to make my mouth burn with the fiery goodness of Fire on the Mountain Buffalo Wings.  The fun begins at 3pm Pacific at 1708 E. Burnside in Portland.  I’ll be video taping for post tomorrow on the Stash, as well as sending pictures by TwitPic and voice updates by Cinch.

This contest will raise $1,231.20 (and counting) for NORML SHOW LIVE.  This will most likely purchase the mobile production laptop I desperately need for the remote shows at Portland Hempstalk, Boston Freedom Rally, NORML CON San Francisco, and Great Midwest Harvest Fest.  I am so honored to have the greatest audience in cyberspace and I pledge to tell the whole world the growing truth about cannabis.

Love the new Urb Age University shirt!

But more importantly, besides my personal pledge drive for the show, the wings contest is actually a benefit for the American Red Cross.  I urge you all to give blood at the Red Cross – it’s the laziest way you can help people, and there are no rules against cannabis users.  I have A positive blood and a very high platelet count.  Most people’s platelets are in the 200 range, rarely do they get folks above 300.

My platelet count is 420.  I’m not making that up; first time they tested, it was 420.  Subsequently it’s ranged between 390-410.  So now I’ve graduated from a simple ten minute blood draw to apheresis treatments, where they take out my blood, spin out the platelets, and put the red cells and saline back in.  Most people take two hours, I’m down to 1:15:00.

I was born to give blood, I guess.  I wonder if anyone getting my transfusions gets a contact high?

After the wings contest, we’re having a NORML SHOW LIVE dress rehearsal to work out the tech details.  Scott Gordon from Urb Age Designs will be our test interview guest.  Tim Pate will be my Ed McMahon and Cannabis Karri will be in to read news and screen callers.  That’s where you come in – if you’d like to call in to the dress rehearsal, dial 347-994-1810 during the show, which runs 6pm-8pm tonight, Pacific Time.  If you just want to listen, you can call that same number (you have to press 1 to speak  to host, so just don’t press 1) or you can listen through the player in the top right or at http://blogtalkradio.com/norml.

[I just had to post this, as it is flying around the internet and apparently landed in Missippi Hippy's inbox. There is no Congressman Sal Dennison; this whole story is a fake. But the way it has spread around the internet says something about both the popularity of marijuana and the labyrinthine ways of House legislation. -- "R"R]

WASHINGTON, DC — Congressman Sal Dennison (D-OH) successfully inserted an amendment into a House bill, which would legalize marijuana for his own personal use.

“I thought I’d give it a shot,” said Dennison, referring to how he snuck the one-sentence amendment into a bill on highway funding. “It was more of an experiment, to see if anyone would notice.”

Apparently, no one did.

HR 4885, “The Highway Improvement and Pot Legalization for Representative Dennison Act” passed both houses of Congress and was signed into law by President Obama on Monday. Rep. Dennison is now the only American citizen legally allowed to use marijuana for any purpose, recreational or medicinal.