You Stashers find me the funnest links (yeah, “funnest”, deal with it, Mrs. Grundy!) This comes from a blog of a self-described “married woman and mother of four” and “a regular marijuana smoker” who presents a great satirical argument against the legalization of marijuana. I feel that too many of her commenters didn’t get it – they probably think Jonathan Swift really wanted the Irish to eat children, too.
For one thing, my cousins are prison guards. Their job security depends on constant prison overcrowding. They also make good money supplying marijuana to certain prisoners. And it’s understood that most drug convicts make excellent prison bitches for the truly violent offenders. Simply put, legalization would put our nation’s fragile prison economy at risk!
That’s just the start. Think about how illegal drugs give our law enforcement a valuable tool in arresting minorities when need be. Additionally, legalizing marijuana would strip our state police departments of their ability to seize and auction off the homes and cars of anyone carrying more than a half ounce of marijuana. You think taxes on decriminalized marijuana could make up the loss? Think again!
Even if we can look past the threat to our adult population, we must consider the children. Once legally regulated, marijuana will be as hard for kids to buy as alcohol is now. So you’ve got to wonder about what they’ll go for next. Freon huffing? Suppository abuse? Free-based jenkem? By the time we know what the next thing is they’ll already be hooked!
