Man to police: You “missed it;” I’ve sold all my weed

What the hell is going on in Crestview, Florida? Are they running some sort of “blabber to the police” special I haven’t heard about?  Is there some sort of mad cow disease running rampant among the young?  Have evil scientists secretly created bud hybrids than make you extra stupid?

(NW Florida Daily News) CRESTVIEW — Police executing a search warrant were told by the suspect they had “missed it” and he had just sold all of his marijuana, according to a Crestview Police Department arrest report.

When officers stopped Justin Ray Smith, 19, on April 17, he said he had sold “somewhere between one to three pounds about six hours ago,” the report said. They recovered about $2,700, of which $1,100 was from that sale, Smith told officers, according to the report.

Smith also said he had several baggies of marijuana in his room and he owned a digital scale. Officers also found a black duffel bag that Smith told officers had held 3½ pounds of marijuana.

He was charged with felony possession with intent to distribute and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Wait, they “stopped” Smith?  That doesn’t sound like executing a search warrant, that sounds like pulling someone over in a traffic stop, a cop asking, “smells funny, got weed?” and a damn fool saying, “Naw, I just sold it”, which then leads to a search warrant.  That’s a five year, $5,000, loss of voting rights, felony record lesson to learn.

(NW Florida Daily News) CRESTVIEW — After pulling over a driver known not to have a valid license, a Crestview Police Department officer noticed that both the driver and the passenger appeared “very nervous.”

When the officer asked them if they had anything in the vehicle like weapons or drugs, the driver, Kendal J. Watkins, said he had marijuana.

The 21-year-old Crestview man then began pulling baggies of marijuana out of his pockets and the groin area of his pants, according to his arrest report.

He was charged with felony possession of marijuana with intent to sell.

So, you’re going to go out with trousers full of separately packaged doobage, driving a car while you don’t have a valid license.  Please tell me your passenger didn’t have a license, lest I have to browbeat you for not making him/her drive.  Not much he could’ve done here; the police would’ve taken him in for the driving without a license and found the weed anyway… but that doesn’t mean you make the policeman’s job easier!  Shut up and a refuse a search!  You don’t get any more busted when the cops find the weed you never mentioned and despite what they say, it won’t “go easier” on you if you hand them over evidence and confess to crimes (easier for them, sure).  Cha-ching, five years, $5,000.  Next!

(NW Florida Daily News) CRESTVIEW — Crestview police arrested a man recently when he stepped out of a car covered in marijuana residue.

Upon further investigation they also found baggies packaged for sale, an April 17 police report said.

The driver of the car told officers that his passenger, James Knight, had to have brought the noxious herb into the car.

“James must have had the marijuana with him, otherwise I wouldn’t have given him a ride,” the man told officers, according to the incident report.

Knight, 30, was charged with possession of marijuana with intent to distribute, resisting arrest and possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana.

Covered in marijuana residue?  Were you rolling a joint on the dashboard and hit a bump?  What the hell is going on in Crestview, Florida?  Please, Northwest Floridians, send me an email at chapters@norml.org and let’s get you a NORML Chapter to start educating these people about their rights!