(People)

Marijuana Found at Michael Jackson’s Home

By Howard Breuer

Originally posted Thursday August 27, 2009 07:20 PM EDT

Indeed, Michael, the whole world's gone off the wall

Really?  You posted it at 4:20pm in California.  Go on…

Marijuana and numerous empty drug bottles were found by police officers at Michael Jackson’s home shortly after he died, according to search warrants unsealed on Thursday.

Two bags of marijuana, a bottle of temazepam (used to treat sleeplessness), empty bottles of the sedatives lorzaepam and diazepam were discovered during the search. They also found four other empty pill bottles with no indication as to what may have been in them.

Detectives were concerned that, when Jackson died, he had “received injection of an unknown medication, prior to his death,” the warrants say. Other documents revealed that Jackson’s doctor, Conrad Murray, had been giving the singer the anesthetic propofol intravenously.

Only under the insane war on a plant could Michael Jackson die from propofol, diazepam, lorzaepam, temazepam*, and probably kitchensinkzepam**, but the shocking headline is “Marijuana found at Michael Jackson’s house”.  Really.  You found an herb that couldn’t possibly kill him in a state where he can use it medicinally?  Shocking.  Can you even imagine People Magazine running “Half-finished bottle of Merlot found at Michael Jackson’s home”.  Oh, yes, you’re right, it is People Magazine…

In a house that big with as many people running around in it as he’d have, it’s possible the marijuana was the stash of some of the staff.  If it was Michael’s, I’m just sad that he didn’t stick to the pot and leave the pams and propofol alone.

*All I can hear in my head is Monty Python’s “I don’t like spam!  Spam spam spam spam…”

**Kitchensinkzepam™, from RussCo Phamaceuticals, the makers of Hypocrisol™, Fuqitol™, Dammitol™, and Scroughitol™.  Kitchensinkzepam.  We don’t know what the hell’s wrong with you.  Here, take this.