Michael Phelps Headed to San Francisco to ‘Get Fired Up!’ and Giving ‘High Performance’ in Vancouver

A full-page spread in the Sunday Chronicle pitched the forthcoming “Get Motivated! Business Seminar,” featuring speakers such as Colin Powell and Rudy Giuliani as well as [Michael] Phelps. In addition to Phelps’ speech on “competitiveness,” one can presumably learn how to shill the nation into an unnecessary war in Iraq, or, in Giuliani’s case, Abyssinia (Whoops, never mind! Wrong fascist).

Anyhow, given Phelps’ recent induction into the pantheon of pot-smoking legends, the ad’s touting of his superhuman “focus” and use of the phrase “Get fired up!” were less than ideal. SF Weekly phoned “Get Motivated!” to query whether the swimmer is still scheduled to make his March 24 Cow Palace speech. He is.

While the good folks over at Kellogg’s have dropped Phelps — as if 75 percent of the adult consumers of Frosted Flakes aren’t stoners — and the swimmer has been suspended for three months by the United States’ swimming federation, his motivational speaking career is buzzing right along. In fact, he’ll be lecturing in Vancouver next month for “The Power Within.” His speech’s subject — no joke — is “High Performance.”

via San Francisco – The Snitch – Michael Phelps, Motivational Speaker, Headed to San Francisco — ‘Get Fired Up!’.

What other double-entendré sports-and-bonghitting titles could be used for a Michael Phelps motivational speech?

• “Smoking the Competition!”
• “Blazing the Trail to Excellence!”
• “Lungs of a Champion!”

Y’all can take this one and run with it, and I’ll read the best ones on today’s Stash intro…