(Salem Statesman Journal) A 21-year-old Salem man reportedly called 9-1-1 that his marijuana was missing, but when deputies arrived, he was booked on drunk driving charges instead, officials said.
It began early Tuesday at 12:52 as a report of a vehicle break-in at the Freeloader Tavern at 501 Lancaster Drive SE, sheriff’s spokeswoman Lt. Sheila Lorance said.
A man told dispatchers that while he was inside the bar, someone broke into his truck, stole $400 cash, a jacket and about 3/4 of an ounce of marijuana, valued at about $180.
Deputy Ryan Clarke went to the scene, but when he was arrived, was unable to find the driver.
About an hour later, the driver called 9-1-1, angry that deputies had not arrived, and was driving.
Lorance said the dispatcher had difficulty understanding the caller because the driver was stopping several times to vomit.
Deputies eventually found the driver at 49th Avenue and Fontana Court SE where the man had parked. The driver, who was found about 100 feet from his truck, told deputies he was looking for the people who stole his “weed.”
Clarke determined that the driver was drunk.
Calvin Hoover, 21, of Salem, was arrested on charges of driving under the influence of intoxicants.
I’m not so certain that this should be classified as a Stupid Stoner Story since he exhibited this stupid behavior while drunk. In fact, if you’re so drunk that you’re puking while driving, we don’t really want your kind. But if this helps stop the next non-medical marijuana user from calling police to report stolen weed, then it was worth posting.
And for the record, isn’t it nice to once again be reminded of the parking lots at taverns that are so well guarded and patrolled that there can be a vehicle break-in that goes unnoticed and a puking drunk that’s allowed to just drive away?
I think it is just another lesson about how incredibly bad alcohol is for you. 1) how many times would you ever be puking while driving on marijuana 2)do you think he consciously decided to get in his car and drive?
I have been driving while puking before, and I am ADAMANTLY against drunk driving, I had a designated driver, I was NOT going to drive, but after about the 7th shot of Jager, all comprehensibility went out the window, I don’t remember getting in my car, I have no idea WHY I would get into my car, and I don’t know where my friends were to stop me, but when you are completely wasted, none of that matters. You are a walking ZOMBIE, no brain-to-motor-skills connection. After that I stopped taking shots, and stopped getting completely wasted (even if I PLAN on not driving), but how many cases can you talk about where weed does this to a person??? Alcohol is a terrible drug that does terrible things, weed by contrast is not and does not.
But who doesn’t love to get good and liquored up every now and again?
I think the entertainment value these rummies give us is more than worth the social damage they do (Sarcasm). HA!