Stephen Baldwin and Kevin McCollough: “America doesn’t want its pot… American potheads do!”

OK, get me a "What about the children?", a "Legalizers are just potheads who want to get high", and a "social costs from marijuana addicts" - hurry, I've made great Reefer Madness arguments from less!

In the modern trumped up controversy over whether marijuana should be legalized for the masses, the biggest canard of all is the supposed demand that exists. As a team that produces a weekly talk radio show now heard on 195 stations, we can earnestly say one thing is definitively true in the discussions we’ve launched about the revival of the “Should pot be legal?” question: “America doesn’t want its pot… American potheads do!”Almost to a person, callers to our broadcast who have asserted the need for weed’s legality are also toking up on a regular basis.

So what?  Of course people who are needlessly being branded as criminals are going to be vocal advocates for their rights!  What, 22 million Americans who will smoke pot this year just don’t count?  (This reminds me of the recent commentator who remarked that the high approval ratings for President Obama are skewed because African Americans rate him so highly.)  And how is it that only between 1 in 4 and 1 in 12 people will smoke pot this year, depending on age bracket, yet support for outright legalization is now hovering between 44% and 52%, depending on the poll?  Seems like many people who don’t smoke pot support its legalization, doesn’t it?

Considering that Stephen starred in “Biodome,” one of the more famous marijuana movies of all time, and that he has testified to smoking enough of the substance prior to his conversion to Christianity to fund a third world junta or two, we are able to compare the pleas of the modern marijuana movement and measure them for what they are–cries of economically struggling potheads who want to get high cheaply, next generation be damned.

OK, Stashers, raise your hand if “Biodome” (current IMDB rating 3.8 out of 10) is anywhere near your Top Twenty Most Famous Marijuana Movies of All Time.

What we oppose with ferocity is making [marijuana] as common for children to obtain as alcohol and cigarettes are now.

Hell, I WISH it were as common for children to acquire marijuana as alcohol and cigarettes are now!  Year after year 84% of high school seniors say pot is “easy to get”.  They consistently say getting alcohol and cigarettes are more difficult because of strict ID laws.

Legalizing it across the board creates easier access for children who we suppose would still be legally prevented from “purchasing” it. This doesn’t even preface the fact that cigarettes are now thought of as a greater evil to children than sex offenders.

Uh, what?  OK, forget that last bizarre sentence.  The idea Baldwin & McCollough are promoting is this idea that if adults can buy marijuana like alcohol or cigarettes, kids will have greater access because they can find an adult who will buy it for them.  Which is a scary thought for most people until you point out that scenario at least adds an adult middleman, an adults-only store, an adult cashier, and an ID check to the transaction, instead of what it is now: teenager A buying a baggie of weed from teenager B in the school parking lot, no questions asked.  Then, if either of the two adults are caught in the transaction, they stand to lose a whole lot more than getting a baggie of weed for a kid is worth.

Marijuana proponents claim that the benefit to society would be enhanced by fewer offenders being sent to prison, tax revenues that would be generated, and the establishment of marijuana farming systems.

A major untruth that they spread is that for every criminal it would prevent from being sent to prison, dealing with the increasingly prevalent use by underage users would be doubled or even tripled.

Which is why the Netherlands, with accepted retail sales and use of cannabis, has half the teenage use rates of America.  Which is why in every medical marijuana state in America for which there are enough data, teenage use has declined at a rate greater than national average.  Baldwin & McCullough’s assertion is ridiculous when the government tells us that 12.5% of children aged 12-17 will used marijuana last year and 16.4% have ever used marijuana.  Tripling underaged use would mean 37.5% annual use and 49.2% ever use.  Do you really think that when buying pot requires and adult and some ID that one out of three teens will smoke annually and half of them will try it?

What they also will not tell you is that for every ounce of tax revenues raised, a ton of cost is exacted upon society by intoxicated drivers, child addicts, counseling, rehabilitation, etc.

Because nobody smokes marijuana now, right?  None of these cost arguments hold water when you realize that nearly everybody who wants to smoke pot already is.  Marijuana being illegal didn’t stop Stephen Baldwin from “smoking enough [pot] to fund a third world junta or two,” did it?  Society still had to suffer the costs exacted by Stephen Baldwin’s use, like signing on for “The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas“, “Slapshot 2: Breaking the Ice“, and “Shark in Venice” (or maybe those were after he quit toking – which is an even better argument for legalization!  At least high he had a decent cameo in “Half Baked”.)

And the farming argument is just dumb.

So there you go.  Nyah nyah nyah.  Dumb old Thomas Jefferson and George Washington.

What the rabid dealers and addicts will not admit is that the primary reason they are making this push is multi-purposed. First, they believe having a former user in the White House will give them the cover they need to make this process speedy, efficient, and successful. And second, they are convinced that it will give them easy access to the “high” they want, as well as give the pushers a new line of clientele.

Wait a minute, are we “slackers” or are we “rabid”?  How can we be both?  Again, for the hard of learning: how tough was your access to the “high” you wanted, Stephen, if you were “smoking enough [pot] to fund a third world junta or two”?  And if we’re going to allow people to grow their own, how does that help the “pushers” get a new line of clientele?  Right now, prohibition forces Stephen Baldwin to get his “junta” weed from a black market dealer.  Under legaliztion, Stephen could grow his own or get it at a store, which wouldn’t be a “pusher” any more than a six-pack at the grocery store is a “bartender”.

The pot-heads of America believe that their new day has dawned.

But for the sake of our kids and the generations to come, it is still not too late to “just say no!”

What else can I say?  I don’t know if I’m more perturbed at Stephen Baldwin’s reefer madness or the fact that his weekly talk radio show is so much more successful than mine was.  Sometimes its lonely telling the truth.