The Top Ten Stupid Stoner Stories of 2008

Here is my compilation of the Top Ten Stupid Stoner Stories of 2008.  Remember, these stories aren’t meant to denigrate the users of cannabis, they are meant to be teachable moments to the community on what not to do.  (Like the David Letterman Top Ten, you should read these in reverse order.) [UPDATE: Bumped for New Years Eve and poll edited to allow Top 5 voting -- "R"R]

1. Miss Teen Louisiana loses crown over pot:  This entry takes #1 not just for the stupidity of the actions but the high profile of the stupidity.  The blonde beauty queen is already a stereotype for dumb, but this young woman made the list by skipping out on a $46 lunch tab with three friends.  She left behind her purse, which contained some cannabis, and when she returned to retrieve it, the police were waiting to arrest her for cannabis and for dine-n-dash!
2. Betting with Weed:  …and that would be a casino.  Click the link and you can see the security footage of a man in California throwing a bag of cannabis on the blackjack table as his bet.  Then, when the dealer gives him the WTF look, he takes back the bag and just dumps out a couple of buds.  I guess he figures he was at a 2-gram betting limit table.
3. Kansas man sentenced for throwing marijuana into jail:  Now we’re getting close to the stupidest thing I can imagine.  This man was trying to get cannabis into the jail for his friend by throwing it over the jail fence.  Because, you know, there’d never be a camera watching the jail fence.  I can only think of one place more heavily watched than a jail…
4. Pot deal text message sent accidentally to cop leads to arrests:  There is a whole class of Stupid Stoner Stories that involve people forgetting that cell phones, text messaging, email, and regular mail can often be intercepted, accidentally or on purpose, by the authorities.
5. Man mooned crowd only minutes after being released on marijuana charge:  It’s a bit unfair to call this a Stupid Stoner Story, because the man admits to a drinking problem and claims to have been drunk, but I just couldn’t resist a story where a guy is released on bail for possession of cannabis and then ten minutes later is baring his ass in the public square.
6. Man returned burgers, marijuana to Dairy Queen:  And this example is the opposite of the previous one, where a cannabis consumer buys some fast food, throws his cannabis in the bag with the burgers to make it all easier to carry, but then realizes he got the wrong burger order and takes it back to the restaurant, forgetting his cannabis was still in the bag.
7. Taco customer finds marijuana in takeout bag:  Another example of the entrepreneurial weed dealer who decides to combine their drive-through fast-food job with cannabis distribution.  Unfortunately this dealer placed the delivery in the wrong customer’s bag and got arrested when the customer called the cops.
8. NH mom calls cops on son, ends up under arrest:  This is a variation on the previous theme, where people allow police to search without a warrant, knowing they have contraband on the premises.  This woman in New Hampshire calls the cops to bust her son for drugs when she allows them to search the home and they find cannabis in her bedroom.
9. Easy to spot pot nets charges in Sheboygan robbery:  This is a consistent theme in these Stupid Stoner Stories – police arresting someone because the cannabis or the bong is right out in the open where they don’t need a warrant to see it.  This guy calls the cops because his apartment was robbed but he forgot to put away the pot!
10. Marijuana bales fall out of semi truck:  Poor guy.  This wasn’t so much stupid as it was unlucky.  He’s hauling bales of cannabis in a “belly dumper”, those angled-bottom type of truck the usually haul gravel.  The belly doors opened for an unknown reason and dumped a couple of bales onto the parking lot of the truck stop.

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