I just got off the phone with a delightful older lady in Nevada. She had called our Washington DC office and they referred her to me. I had hardly said “Hello, this is Russ” before she launched into her sputtering tirade. ”I live in Nevada,” she explained, “and I just made the drive to Carson City to get my medical marijuana card. You know I had to spend over $300 to get this card that says I can have pharmaceutical marijuana…”
“Well, it’s not phar…” I tried to interject, but she was rolling.
“…and then I ask the guy where I’m supposed to pick up some of this pharmaceutical marijuana and he tells me I can’t get any, that I have to grow my own from a plant!” she exclaimed. Yes, I agree, while I’m wondering “what did the DC office think I could do about this?” She continues, “How can they call it pharmaceutical marijuana if you don’t have some place to pick it up?!? He says I’m supposed to just go find a plant, like I know anybody that has marijuana plants! Now I’m out over $300 for a card that does me no good because I don’t know how I’m supposed to get this pharmaceutical marijuana!”
Eventually I broke in and told her I sympathized, but, uh, how can I help you? ”That’s the big problem in many medical marijuana states,” I said soothingly, “you’re allowed to use medical marijuana if some should fall out of the sky into your pipe. But you can’t buy it or sell it or even buy seeds for it.”
“So what do I do?”
“Well, what some patients do is network and try to meet other patients at places like NORML meetings, hemp festivals, and other organizations that try to get patients to help patients. Others just go to a black market street dealer,” I told her.
“Oh, heavens, I don’t know any of those kind of people!”
“And you shouldn’t have to, and I wouldn’t recommend you deal with a black market street dealer.”
“No! You don’t know what they’re putting in that stuff. Can’t I just have someone ship it to me?” she pleaded.
“You could if you’d like a little attention from the federal government and free room and board in a penitentiary for 10 to 20 years.”
She laughed in that stress-relieving way, sort of a gallows humor chuckle. ”I see. How can they pass these laws but then not let people use them?”
“It’s a big problem and something that we’re working on at NORML to fix. If I could snap my fingers and make it legal now, I would. Currently, only California, New Mexico, Colorado, and Rhode Island have legal dispensaries. Now the latest states are working on bills that would have dispensaries, but then they want to make it so you can’t grow your own, so you have to buy your medicine at $450 per ounce. Now you’ve got a different problem: you have a place to get marijuana, but you can’t afford it! Medicare doesn’t cover it. Most insurance doesn’t cover it. I’ll bet your SSI disability barely covers your living expenses, much less another $450 or more per month for marijuana!”
She was finally silent for longer than a quarter second. Exasperated, she could only say, “I don’t know to do.”
“Well, you are in Nevada. If you could make a road trip, California has medical marijuana dispensaries. You could drive to Lake Tahoe, cross the border, get your California card, and while you’re in California you could medicate and possess marijuana. I know it’s another couple of hundred dollars, but it’s an option.”
“Don’t you have to have a California residence?”
“Nope. California’s the only state that doesn’t require residency. Now, while you’re in California, you are legal in a California dispensary with California marijuana. What you cannot do is take that marijuana over the state line back to Nevada. Not only would that be federally illegal, but it also violates the California and Nevada medical marijuana laws. So whatever you do, do not go to that California dispensary, buy yourself a plant, and drive back to Nevada and grow it for yourself, because that would be illegal and I could never advise you to do something like that.”
I don’t know if you can hear a wink over a phone, but she sounded like she winked. ”OK,” she said, “I think I will just go wait for some marijuana to fall from the sky. In Lake Tahoe. Thanks, you’ve been, uh, well, honestly, not much help at all, but I guess that’s not really your fault, it’s these stupid laws.”
“Couldn’t agree more. Thanks for calling NORML.”
What a nice way to end my workday. See y’all Monday!
I think that all the time. That’s why I was careful to tell her not to do anything that would violate state or federal laws. Although telling her to obey state medical marijuana laws technically is telling her to violate federal law.
Regardless, I welcome Justice Department scrutiny. I know A LOT of lawyers who LOVE First Amendment cases and especially love fighting prohibitionist D.A.s and US attorneys.
I was hesitant to post because I have a tendency to be a little cynical. Then I remembered that just because you might be paranoid doesn’t mean they are not out to get you.
While I’m certain there are sweet naive people out there, I am also certain that Mary Beth Buchanan and the justice department scumbags are out there trying to entrap people. Tommy Chong was not that long ago and I don’t see any real changes in the justice departments sentiments towards us.
I would actually give odds this sweet old lady was a justice department jerk trying to get you to do or say something dubious.
First time I read this, I thought it said you were the one that winked. ;)
I think she should have called her legislators and eaten up half an hour of each of their time with this issue.
And then got all of her senior citizen friends to do the same thing and continue to do it until those who make the laws finally got the message.
Good one RR. Tahoe is weird. Ever been in the CalNav Resort? Half in Cal half in Nev. On the Cal side you got yer Medi Pot & on the Nev side you got yer Keno Pot. Yuk yuk.
Good job Russ. Evidently the national office referred her to the right person after all
glad you could partially help her! hope your weekend is in HIGH spirits!!